The missing posts...

[Parental warning: The following blog entry has been rated Blog-MA for descriptions of hooker trading cards]

The conspiracy theorists among us will wonder with Watergate-like interest why nothing was blogged after about 5PM yesterday.

"Were there entries that were erased?"

"What happened last night in Vegas?"

Indeed, Vegas is the home to many earthly delights and we did partake and how we did enjoy.

For those unfamiliar with the Vegas milieu, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting an undocumented worker snapping "women of comfort" trading cards to attract attention and then pressing them into your palm should you make accidental eye contact.

Among the highlights:

Candy is available to come to your room for $69. And you're thinking that's a spectacular deal. But think again. Terri is available for $49. To be honest though, she's a little pricey. Skylar is only $39. It turns out, that $39 is the consensus value rate among these ladies of the night and we thought we had found the low bidder. Then along came a trading card for Gia advertising a $38 rate. Now I don't know what my price tipping point would be for making a decision on evening companionship. However, I am pretty sure it's not $1. But is it $5? If you are willing to do a three lady deal with one service, it's only $99-that's $33 each and a $5 savings off the likes of Gia.

So what is my tipping point? Sadly, this economic question will have to remain unresolved as the earthly delights we pursued were the wonders of the Vegas buffet and the elusive $1 blackjack table.

Around 6:30 PM, we found ourselves at the Cravings buffet in the Mirage hotel. It was an orgy of meats, fish, and yes Praks, vegetables. We indulged ourselves until we could indulge no more. And then we went to the dessert bar.

(Dear reader, were this a fantasy story, I would be about to regale you with the gastronomic excesses of sugary delights. Unfortunately, this is not fantasy.)

The dessert bar was essentialy a Denny's in which they bring you jello on a hot plate.

TRAVLER'S TIP: Do not go to the Mirage buffet for dessert.

After our over-consumption and a brief trip to the vomitorium at Caesar's Palace, we wended our way endlessly north along the Vegas strip searching for a blackjack table that met our cheap bastard expectations.

After approximately 1 mile of "as the crow flies" walking on the strip and 10 miles of "as the drunken gambler stumbles" through the various casinos, we found our Shangri-la in Slots of Fun. A casino so low that it was an ante-casino of the now lowly Circus Circus. In this dank hole of humanity which featured a Subway as its epicurean focus, we met the $1 table-and it was full. It turns out that this low-roller heaven was just too much of an attraction for many and we never got a seat. However, we found that we were quite able to lose our money at a nearby $3 blackjack table, resulting in a bliss that has to be experienced to be appreciated.

Off to Disneyland...